LEVEL ONE – “THE SLAP”
This is the script for level 1 of Central Banking Simulator
Characters: Devil, President Chester, Chairman & Treasury Secretary
Game mechanics: Tap Shoulder (while hands have coffee), Chug Coffee, Slap President
OVER BLACK.
DEVIL
Hey sugar, You’re about to enter the Oval Office. And, more importantly, meet the most powerful man alive. Are you ready for this?
TODD
Um…
DEVIL
Either way, I’ve got your back in there. If you need me, tap your right shoulder and I’ll appear.
Player is prompted to speak
TODD
What about my left shoulder? Shouldn’t I have an angel or something?
DEVIL
Bad culture fit. Angels are soo last century
FADE UP ON: US Flag Waving Transition
The door to the Oval Office. It opens.
INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY
The President is in a frenzy. The Chairman and the Secretary walk over to him to try to calm him down.
THE PRESIDENT
We’re fucked.
CHAIRMAN
We’re not fucked. You need to calm yourself and explain what is happening.
THE PRESIDENT
We are definitely fucked. Because, the British grin-fucked us. So we’re fucked.
SECRETARY
Those fuckers!
CHAIRMAN
Chester, What did they do?
The president starts to hyperventilate.
THE PRESIDENT
They dumped the dollar… the dollar!?!
SECRETARY
Oh God. Not the dollar?
The President grabs a dollar from his pocket/leg region.
THE PRESIDENT
They’re dumping it. {as he drops the dollar}
SECRETARY
This is terrible! I’ve got to call mother!
{pulls out his phone, moves to side of the room and speed dials his mom}
The President starts pulling out chunks of hair.
CHAIRMAN
Oh my God
{muffled soft groan}
The Chairman faints.
DEVIL (O.S.)
(coming from your right shoulder)
Psst… psst… Tap your shoulder. This is getting spicy
(If you tap your left shoulder it goes “ba–WOOO-ga” and the devil says “Not that shoulder”)
You tap your right shoulder. The Devil appears (?) - this can be a static image.
DEVIL
Todd, This is your moment to shine. Here’s what you need to do: step one, drink a coffee.
You drink one of the coffees in your hand.
DEVIL (CONT’D)
Step two: drink the other coffee.
You chug the other coffee.
DEVIL (CONT’D)
Step three: slap the President.
INTERN
What?
DEVIL
Todd, honey. The President’s losing his shit. Take an honest look around. You think anyone else is going to save the day?
The Chairman’s passed out, and the Treasury Secretary’s too much of a mama’s boy to be helpful.
Its on you. Slap some sense into him.
The President’s eyes have become rotating spirals. He’s foaming at the mouth.
DEVIL
Slap him hard! But not too hard, otherwise it's a felony. Slap him!
Gameplay conditions:
Floor in front of the president illuminates to show the perfect area to slap him from.
You need to slap the president. If you slap him too softly, he just moans and foams more. If you slap him too hard, Secret Security comes out of nowhere and takes you down. (View screen goes horizontal and lowers to the ground + the screen goes red.)
If you slap him just right…
INTERN
Mr. President, get a hold of yourself!
Then the President’s eyes clear and the foam goes away.
SECRETARY
Intern! Get your hands off him! What did you do?
PRESIDENT
What’s your name, lad?
INTERN
Todd.
SECRETARY
I am so sorry, Mr. President. I would like to point out that this is the Chairman’s intern. I only met this man this morning. Any intern of mine would know that under Title 18 of the Federal Code Chapter 84, Section 1751, assaulting the President is a felony. We teach them that. Where is security!?
PRESIDENT
Quiet down Earnie! Todd, your country owes you a great debt.
(turns to the Secretary)
While Mitch passed out and you were calling your mother, this man – this hero – was giving the leader of the free world exactly what he needed: a manly rebuke, a stern bracing, a clearer head.
The Secretary, realizing the truth in this, nods and starts to clap. The Chairman is still just passed out.
SECRETARY
You’re absolutely right, Mr. President. I see that now. Intern…
PRESIDENT
Todd.
SECRETARY
Todd.
PRESIDENT
Mr. Todd.
SECRETARY
Mr. Todd, I’d only be so lucky to have you as an intern in my office.
PRESIDENT
Gentleman,
[Glances at Chairman Mitch still passed out]
The three of us need to tackle this crisis head on... It's time for a press conference.
And based on what I’ve seen here today – you’re just the man to speak, Todd.
The devil gives you a cheeky wink.
DEVIL
That was well done, Todd. You’re on your way to the top. Now, all you have to do is look the part…
Level Fades to black.